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Spirituality & Inner Experience

Mind Vitamin: A Message For Those In Pain

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A message for those in pain.

EPISODE TRANSCRIPT:

The failure to understand the difference between pain and suffering is the cause of more silent misery worldwide for human beings everywhere, than just about anything else.

The reality is that most people don’t even allow themselves to tell the truth about whatever pain they might be in. And we live in a world today that is completely dedicated to the avoidance and distraction and sedation when it comes to pain and discomfort. 

So you ask the average person, hey how are you doing? They go, “I’m fine.” But are you really? 

So this message is for that rare person who has actually begun to tell themself the truth, that things maybe are not as good as you thought that they once were. 

Or maybe things are not as good as you’d like them to be and you’ve begun to feel that uneasiness, you’ve begun to feel that pain but then what do you do with it? 

We live in a culture that is wired to ignore pain. So one of the skills that we have to develop is understanding the massive difference between pain and suffering. These two could not be further apart. 

Pain is simply feedback. It’s simply a signal that you get in your body, in your mind, it’s a signal that you begin to feel, a set of sensations that doesn’t have any meaning by itself and yet if we’re not careful, it’s easy to assume that this signal of pain is just something you have to accept. 

This is just something you have to put up with. This is just how life is and then you start to connect with other people that are also experiencing this sensation, this feedback called pain. 

And then what do people do? They normalize it. They say, “Well this is just how it is.” And you start hearing things like, “Well, it is what it is.” 

Look, nobody who was really living a fulfilled life uses that phrase, it is what it is. 

Your understanding of pain and the difference between pain and suffering is a fundamental skill that you must develop. Pain is just feedback. It’s just a sensation. It’s just information for you to do something with. 

But suffering, suffering is completely optional. There is no reason on this planet why you must continue to suffer. Suffering, no matter how many times it’s been glorified and honored and no matter how many tributes and monuments humans build to those that have suffered, that doesn’t mean that it’s right. That doesn’t mean that it’s necessary. 

In fact, suffering serves no purpose because it’s totally different than pain. Pain is just feedback. That serves an amazing purpose to get you present so you do something different to change the situation to get out of pain, ’cause when you’re in pain, and you pretend everything’s just fine, when that quiet voice inside of you is screaming at you, saying, “This isn’t working.”, is when you say, “Shut up!”, ’cause you don’t want to deal with it. 

Look, I get it. I know it takes courage to face your pain. It takes courage to feel your pain. But that’s pain’s purpose. 

Pain’s purpose is to get you present and once you become present to your pain, new awarenesses start to bloom and blossom. 

You begin to have new insights. You become aware of choices that you didn’t know you had. You begin seeking solutions and alternatives. You begin to research different ways of improving your situation. 

Now this pain has a purpose. Now you’re not in suffering because you’re making progress. You’re expanding and you may not know what’s next and that might be scary. 

It might be terrifying to know that what is happening isn’t working anymore. But you don’t know what to do next. 

And this might be happening in your physical body. It might be happening in your job or in your business. And it might be happening in a personal relationship. 

But my message here for you is that you don’t have to suffer. Suffering is optional. 

And I know that it hurts sometimes. It might hurt a lot. But that hurt, that pain, is a gift. 

It’s only here to get you present, so instead of distracting yourself, instead of lying to yourself, instead of saying it’s not that bad, instead of beating yourself up because you are where you are, why not just take responsibility and allow that pain to become a teacher. Allow that pain to become a catalyst. Allow that feedback and that signal to motivate you to do something different. 

This is when suffering ends. And you don’t have to suffer. The purpose of life is not suffering. There are no prizes for the person who suffers the most, not in the real world, not in the natural world. 

So stop suffering. Embrace whatever feedback you’re getting, even if it’s painful, because that’s the moment the pain begins to go away. 

That’s the moment your entire life begins to shift because you’ve taken back control of your own powers of choice.

Mind Vitamin: Why “The Truth” Won’t Set You Free

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Watch this video to see why “The Truth” won’t set you free.

EPISODE TRANSCRIPT:

Years ago in my early days as a martial artist and as a fighter, I was obsessed with finding out the truth. The truth about the right technique, the truth about the right style or system of training. 

I had to know what the truth was, so I had lots of great coaches and instructors and trainers who all had the truth. They all knew the right answer. 

And then it became overwhelming because I realized that some of these truths were contradicting each other. One trainer said you should train this way, another trainer said you should train this way, and it began to confuse me.

Not only that, but at that particular time in my life, this search for truth was bleeding into every other area of my life. Truth about the universe, truth about myself, truth about purpose, and the path that I was on, and I think that in some ways this is something that we all are experiencing, we are all experiencing a craving for the truth. 

And this is where things get a little bit tricky, because there’s no shortage of people in the world who know the truth and who are happy to tell you what the truth is, and in fact, you’ve probably absorbed a lot of this in your own path in life. 

And what do we call it? We call it history, and we call it scientific fact, and we call it statistics, and data, and that’s cool. Nothing wrong with any of that.

But I’ve also observed that this addiction to the accumulation of truth also creates lazy thinking, because once you know the truth, you don’t have to seek any more. Once you know what the answers are, you stop asking questions. 

And this is when your mind begins to atrophy. This is when your natural curiosity, the intrigue that we’re all born with, that keeps us seeking and striving and growing and expanding, well, that begins to fizzle out once you know what the truth is, because you’ve already arrived at the conclusion.

And then, this is when people begin to compete with the truth and they already know what the truth is because their brain’s already said, hey, check that box, I already got it, and then they can compete with other people’s finished answers and then next thing you know, you’ve got a whole bunch of people that all know the truth that are all arguing for who’s got the right truth.

But what if the truth wasn’t the important thing here? In fact, what if we stopped caring about truth altogether, and instead of focusing on what’s true, we begin to focus more on what’s useful? 

I’m very appreciative to have had this experience in my early days competing and training and fighting in the ring, because I stopped caring what’s true and I just started testing and I started observing what’s useful. I stopped paying attention to the history, and I began to focus more on my own experience, and this is a philosophy that has served me incredibly well. 

This philosophy of asking what’s useful instead of arriving at some conclusion. Instead of focusing on history, what if you just focus more on your story, on what is that’s important to you right now, what is it that you want to create right now, what are the puzzles that you have in your life right now? 

What are the areas of your life that aren’t exactly the way that you want them to be, but you can make them better? And you don’t make them better by focusing in the rearview mirror, you don’t make them better by focusing on what’s old and what was. 

The past is gone. In fact, the past doesn’t even actually exist. The future doesn’t even exist. What exists is now, and whatever now you find yourself in, whatever moment you find yourself in that present moment is all that you ever actually have. 

Right now is all you actually ever have, so instead of history and facts, and the truth, what if you can just take all those and hold them sort of lightly in your mind while increasing your focus on what’s happening for you? 

Where are you? How do you feel? What feels right for you right now? Knowing that that’s changing all the time, trusting yourself even more to authorize your own experience, to be the author of your own life, and instead of focusing on the truth and carrying that with you, what if you could practice a little bit of strategic ignorance and just open up a little bit more to your own actual experience of life right now? 

I think you’ll find that that’s where the energy is, I think you’ll find that’s where creativity lives. This is where innovation is. Direct present moment experience, and that’s something that you can own.

 

Mind Vitamin: How to Be Unforgettable

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If you want to achieve more in any area of your life, it always starts with this.

EPISODE TRANSCRIPT:

I’m going to share with you a secret that can give you a real advantage when it comes to the accomplishment of your goals, not only accomplishing more of what you want to accomplish, but enjoying the process a lot more. 

We live in a time right now where there’s a lot of emphasis on intelligence and learning and accumulating more facts and knowing more and being more and being better. And that’s cool, that’s all natural and healthy, and that’s fun. 

But I’m what talking about goes a lot deeper than that actually, and what I’m talking about is true presence. 

Think about when you’re in a conversation with somebody and you really get the sense that there’s no place else they’d rather be than right there with you. You can tell that their mind isn’t wandering somewhere else. They’re right there with you. 

And just notice how that feels, when you’re in a conversation with somebody who doesn’t try and get in their own agenda. It’s not like they are waiting for you to finish talking so that they can tell you what they really want to tell you. Doesn’t that just feel good when you’re with somebody who’s actually present? 

Well, this is something that you do as well when you’re present with somebody, when you’re just there, not waiting for them to finish so you can get in your information, not wishing that you were somewhere else, but truly present. 

Instead of being on your phone or talking to somebody else, you’re just actually there with that person. Relaxed, comfortable in your own skin, nothing to hide, nothing to prove. 

There’s a certain energy to that, and this energy is very powerful. In fact, as you explore this space of presence with yourself and with another what actually occurs is a vacuum of judgment, and this is when people really begin to open up. 

They begin to feel more of themselves, and they begin to feel more of their own essence. They start to feel more of their own thoughts, and this can be incredibly transformative.

Now, for most of us, this is like emotional oxygen, to just sit with someone or be in a conversation with somebody who’s truly present. This is a very rare experience, and because it’s so rare, it’s also incredibly valuable. 

So regardless of what your relationship with this person might be, whether it’s a personal relationship or a professional relationship, or maybe just a stranger that you find yourself having a conversation over a transaction. 

The power of presence is an incredibly attractive advantage, and I don’t mean that as a competitive thing. You just stand out, and you become unforgettable, and the best part is you get to feel more of yourself and you start to feel more like yourself, and this energy of nothing to hide and nothing to prove can change your whole life. 

And this power’s available to you right now. It’s available to you in every conversation. All it takes is a simple choice. 

So why not allow yourself to practice being present and just see what shows up.

 

Mind Vitamin: The Death of Judgement

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Perhaps the death of judgement

Comes not from relinquishing

Your natural ability to judge

By discerning and selecting

That which you find desirable

But instead arrives through

The radical self-acceptance

Of not judging yourself

Embracing your true perfection

As an evolving human being

Beyond need for approval

Uniquely qualified to live

Your life exactly as you desire.

 

EPISODE TRANSCRIPT:

Have you ever found yourself judging someone, and then noticing that you’re judging them and then judging yourself for judging them, and then the whole thing spirals into this sort of feeling of oh, I wish I could be less judgmental?

There is a very popular movement in the spiritual development world, in the personal development communities to just relinquish judgment, just become nonjudgmental.

I don’t know that that’s actually possible though, because to judge something is to evaluate it, is to be discerning, is to make a choice, that hey, this is desirable or it’s undesirable. It’s right or it’s wrong for me. It’s good or bad for me.

So perhaps it’s not about getting rid of judgment, maybe what we actually want isn’t to be nonjudgmental, maybe what we actually want is the peace of mind that comes from not getting all tangled up in the judgments, maybe what we actually want deep down inside is to not feel judged ourselves.

Maybe that’s what this whole nonjudgmental urge is about. Maybe we just want to be accepted as we are. Maybe we don’t want to be criticized. We don’t want to be judged by others as not being enough.

But all of that can only come from the inside. I mean, the reality is no one can put a label on you that you don’t accept. Nobody can judge you harshly unless you judge yourself harshly.

You see, when you accept yourself 100% exactly as you are, not even with any flaws, these are just uniquenesses and features of you, these are part of what make you you, and you can change anything you want about yourself, so if somebody criticizes you or somebody judges you harshly, what if instead of defending yourself or judging back, what if you just say, yeah, yup, that’s me.

With no shame, no guilt, no fear, just a total radical self-acceptance that if somebody says you sure are a – and they fill in the blank – you can look at that, and you can say, yeah, I am that sometimes. Yes, I do that sometimes.

Now, there are things that you’re always gonna be changing about yourself and you can certainly take feedback from other people where it’s qualified, but what does any of that have to do with who you are at your core?

At your core, you are perfect. The essence of you is beyond judgment. You came here uniquely qualified to live your life, which includes making choices, which includes judging and discerning and finding out what’s right for you right now, and the moment you find something that’s not working for you, you can change it, that’s how this life works.

Nothing is set, nothing is fixed, nothing is static, nothing is predetermined, everything’s in flux and flow all of the time, everything is blooming and blossoming every second. So how does it make any sense to judge yourself as you go through that process?

Why not just skip the judgment altogether and just practice this self-acceptance, because when you accept yourself exactly as you are, when you accept yourself as an evolving human being, life opens up all of this energy, life becomes more fulfilling, it becomes more meaningful, it becomes richer, it becomes a lot more fun, and all the energy that used to go into judging yourself, judging others, all of a sudden, that energy is now free, free to create, free to dream, free to live, free to give, free to grow, to love, to connect.

That’s what’s available to you. So let’s just put this judgment stuff aside, and why not practice this radical self-acceptance and see what starts to open up for you.

Mind Vitamin: Don’t Fear Your Ego

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A healthy ego is the vehicle for fulfilling your purpose on this planet.

 

EPISODE TRANSCRIPT:

Hey, you’ve probably heard that ego is a bad thing, especially when somebody begins this sort of spiritual quest and they start to wake up and they become “woke.”

And then, they begin to become more aware of their beliefs and their judgments and all of this kind of stuff. And this is when it becomes very fashionable in the personal development world, very fashionable in the spiritual communities, to say, get rid of your ego.

You might have even felt some guilt around your ego. One guy actually told me this. He said, you know, your ego is not your amigo.

With all due respect for whatever anybody wants to believe, my experience around ego has been very different. In fact, I believe that ego is essential to fulfilling your purpose on this planet.

Ego is a simple individuation of some infinite consciousness that maybe we call life. It’s the perceived separation that makes you you. It’s what allows you to have those ears and those eyes to perceive and to receive this particular message.

And as this video, this mind vitamin, is coming to you, your brain, your mind, your beliefs, your values, your perceptions, your filters, your analysis, your judgment, all of that is combining because you are you.

You are you, and there’s not another individual just like you anywhere on the planet. There never has been. And there never will be. That makes you incredibly unique. Your ego is what makes you unique.

Now, I agree that when the ego, the individuation of consciousness, the person who thinks that they are by themselves this isolated incident of life, that could become lonely, it could become scary, and at that point, this ego can become a sort of energetic parasite on the rest of reality trying to accumulate resources to justify its existence.

But it doesn’t have to be that way. In fact, your ego, my ego, our ego, as human beings, serves as an incredibly powerful vehicle for the expression of your purpose.

And because every human being has a unique reason for being, every human being on this planet has a reason for being born, a reason for blinking into existence, you have a reason for coming here, and maybe you don’t know exactly what that reason is.

And maybe part of your purpose is to find out what your purpose is. And maybe your purpose is to create your purpose. But once you begin to explore what your purpose is, that purpose is not meant to be kept to yourself. It’s not only meant to be experienced, purpose is meant to be expressed.

So as you experience your purpose you gotta express it in order for it to expand, in order for your purpose to activate and to actualize in this beautiful place that we call our planet. More specifically, your purpose gets to be activated in your life.

And how your purpose gets activated is by having a healthy ego, a healthy sense of self, a complete removal of the guilt of being human, a removal of the fear of having your own desires.

You were born to birth new desires into this world through the accumulation of different experiences. You get to want what you want. There’s nobody outside of you that can want what you want. There’s nobody outside of you that can feel your desires. Only you can.

So it’s been my experience that by blending a healthy ego, a strong sense of self, with an exploration and an understanding and examination of what your purpose is, then ego actually becomes a vehicle for the expression of your purpose out into this world, and how can that ever be a bad thing?

You’re not flawed in any way. There’s nothing wrong with you. There’s never been anything wrong with you. You’re a fully functioning, self-aware human being. You are a growth seeking, growth producing individual expression of consciousness. How can there be anything wrong with that?

So if you’ve ever felt guilty about having a strong ego, this is your invitation to just stop because as you allow the fullness of who you actually are, as you allow the full expression of your desires to be felt and formed, as you allow yourself the mandatory luxury of sifting and sorting through your own beliefs and finding what works for you, releasing what no longer serves, you’ll feel that energy inside of you. You’ll feel the pulse of your purpose.

And when you do, you’ll know it, you’ll feel it. It will be unmistakable. And that’s when ego gets to play. You have everything you need. You have everything you need to fulfill your purpose. Ego is the vehicle for doing that. So why not enjoy the entire ride?

Mind Vitamin: The Choice

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You can choose
To believe there’s no choice
Your future fixed
Life predetermined
Bound to march down
The path prepared
By some external force.

Or you can choose
To trust your own voice
Your future unwritten
Shaped by your choice
All paths open to you
And as free as your will.

EPISODE TRANSCRIPT:

There’s a very interesting philosophy that has sort of permeated human consciousness for at least thousands of years, and this philosophy says that everything is already set out.

The entire game of life has already sort of been prepared and planned out, and the best that we can do as human beings is to move through this game, taking the step that’s in front of us, because after all, it’s already been set. It’s already been planned. It’s already been arranged.

And so your job, dear human, within this sort of philosophy, your job is just to take the step that’s given to you and just accept that you are where you are, accept that you are who you are, and just accept that, you know what? Things aren’t gonna change.

This is a very interesting philosophy, because it shows up in so many areas of life. It shows up in people’s psychology where they just say, “You know what, “I am how I am, and that’s really not gonna change.”

It also shows up in people’s bodies where they have this sort of genetic idea that, well, look at my genetics, this is just how I am. This is just how it is in my family. It shows up financially, it shows up socially, it shows up in people’s understanding of the universe and their own spirituality.

This philosophy is called determinism, and it is incredibly pervasive in the human experience. And my observation is that there is actually nothing that robs people of their freedom more than this philosophy.

The idea that everything’s already set, the idea that you as an individual do not have the power to create something new, that it’s already been set out, and the best that you can do is just take the path that’s been given to you.

There are even people in this world right now, there are people who are practicing and communicating the idea that there is no such thing as choice. You actually aren’t in control. Other people are in control. Other forces are in charge of your life, and you don’t really have a choice.

There are these people who say that free will is a myth. Free will doesn’t exist. Well, to those people, I would say that if you choose to believe that there is no such thing as free will, you’re free to believe that. You’re free to operate according to that philosophy.

I’m not here to make anybody right or to make anybody wrong. I stopped asking what’s true a long time ago and I just started asking what’s useful. And personally, I have not found any use or utility in this philosophy of determinism, the idea that says that everything’s already set out and you don’t have a choice.

This concept of free will is actually something that’s available to you in every moment, that you can choose your thoughts, you can choose your behaviors, you can choose to listen to that voice inside of you, you can choose to cultivate your dreams and your vision.

And in fact, in every moment, you have the opportunity to make some new choices. You can decide what it is that you are going to give the priceless gift of your attention to, and very quickly you begin to produce new evidence to support a brand new philosophy, the idea that you are actually in charge. That nobody’s calling the shots on your behalf.

That in fact, you are creating the quality of your life with every choice you make, and you are free. You are so free that you can either choose determinism or you can choose to begin to trend your focus in a new direction.

You can become a little more creative, a little more courageous, a little bit more playful, a little bit more spontaneous, a little bit more innovative. And then you get to judge by results. See what works for you.

I don’t know what’s right or wrong for you, but you do. So why not make today a day of new choices?