Perhaps the death of judgement
Comes not from relinquishing
Your natural ability to judge
By discerning and selecting
That which you find desirable
But instead arrives through
The radical self-acceptance
Of not judging yourself
Embracing your true perfection
As an evolving human being
Beyond need for approval
Uniquely qualified to live
Your life exactly as you desire.
Have you ever found yourself judging someone, and then noticing that you’re judging them and then judging yourself for judging them, and then the whole thing spirals into this sort of feeling of oh, I wish I could be less judgmental?
There is a very popular movement in the spiritual development world, in the personal development communities to just relinquish judgment, just become nonjudgmental.
I don’t know that that’s actually possible though, because to judge something is to evaluate it, is to be discerning, is to make a choice, that hey, this is desirable or it’s undesirable. It’s right or it’s wrong for me. It’s good or bad for me.
So perhaps it’s not about getting rid of judgment, maybe what we actually want isn’t to be nonjudgmental, maybe what we actually want is the peace of mind that comes from not getting all tangled up in the judgments, maybe what we actually want deep down inside is to not feel judged ourselves.
Maybe that’s what this whole nonjudgmental urge is about. Maybe we just want to be accepted as we are. Maybe we don’t want to be criticized. We don’t want to be judged by others as not being enough.
But all of that can only come from the inside. I mean, the reality is no one can put a label on you that you don’t accept. Nobody can judge you harshly unless you judge yourself harshly.
You see, when you accept yourself 100% exactly as you are, not even with any flaws, these are just uniquenesses and features of you, these are part of what make you you, and you can change anything you want about yourself, so if somebody criticizes you or somebody judges you harshly, what if instead of defending yourself or judging back, what if you just say, yeah, yup, that’s me.
With no shame, no guilt, no fear, just a total radical self-acceptance that if somebody says you sure are a – and they fill in the blank – you can look at that, and you can say, yeah, I am that sometimes. Yes, I do that sometimes.
Now, there are things that you’re always gonna be changing about yourself and you can certainly take feedback from other people where it’s qualified, but what does any of that have to do with who you are at your core?
At your core, you are perfect. The essence of you is beyond judgment. You came here uniquely qualified to live your life, which includes making choices, which includes judging and discerning and finding out what’s right for you right now, and the moment you find something that’s not working for you, you can change it, that’s how this life works.
Nothing is set, nothing is fixed, nothing is static, nothing is predetermined, everything’s in flux and flow all of the time, everything is blooming and blossoming every second. So how does it make any sense to judge yourself as you go through that process?
Why not just skip the judgment altogether and just practice this self-acceptance, because when you accept yourself exactly as you are, when you accept yourself as an evolving human being, life opens up all of this energy, life becomes more fulfilling, it becomes more meaningful, it becomes richer, it becomes a lot more fun, and all the energy that used to go into judging yourself, judging others, all of a sudden, that energy is now free, free to create, free to dream, free to live, free to give, free to grow, to love, to connect.
That’s what’s available to you. So let’s just put this judgment stuff aside, and why not practice this radical self-acceptance and see what starts to open up for you.