Mind Vitamin: You Get What You Tolerate

EPISODE TRANSCRIPT:

There’s no shortage of information in the world about how to get what you want, how to take your dreams and turn them into reality, how to live your best life and all that stuff. 

And I believe in that. I believe that that is possible and I believe that, since it’s possible to live the life that you actually want, why wouldn’t you? It just kind of makes sense. 

But there’s a philosophy that I found that is actually, in many ways, superior. It’s produced a much better result than the traditional approaches to success and hustle and struggle, and it really comes down to this. 

In your life, you don’t get what you work for. You don’t even get what you’re committed to. You get what you tolerate. Tolerance.

And I’m not talking about from a humanitarian standpoint. I’m not talking about being empathetic towards others. 

What I’m talking about is, in your life, the things that you allow into your life. If they are unpleasant, displeasing, low-energy, suppressing, if there’s anything going on in your life right now socially, financially, physically, if there’s any part of your life that is not to your liking and you find yourself tolerating it, putting up with it, saying it’s not that bad, this is in fact a demonstration of your standard, and there is a direct correlation between the level of your standard and the level of tolerance that you’re willing to entertain. 

This, in fact, creates a quality of life. In fact, the people that have the highest tolerance, the people who are willing to put up with the most garbage, these are also the people that have the lowest standards. 

Quick example. You find yourself in a conversation with someone repeatedly that is a low-energy conversation, it’s draining you, it’s sucking your enthusiasm right out of you. In fact, when you go to meet with this particular person or these people, you feel that knot in your stomach, like ugh, not this again. 

And yet, you continue to go back over and over and over again. You are tolerating this relationship, tolerating this connection even though it is clearly not in your highest interest, it clearly doesn’t energize you. 

So that high tolerance for pain, that high tolerance for discomfort is simultaneously a low standard. And it shows up in every area of people’s lives. 

The more that someone is willing to put up with, the more pain and suffering that they’re willing to entertain, the lower their standard actually is. And so I just don’t see any glory or any justification in tolerating things that aren’t good for you. 

Sure, pain comes and goes. You may even choose to experience pain or discomfort. 

You might choose to go through a workout, for example, that you know is gonna be a little bit brutal, but you’re doing it consciously, there’s no suffering. You’re simply experiencing that feedback and you know that, on the other side, is this expanded capacity, and that’s cool. 

But I’m talking about the day-to-day living of life. There’s no reason for anything to be on your calendar that doesn’t produce energy for you. Energy is the ultimate currency, not time, not money. Energy. 

How do you feel? How do you feel about the activities and the actions that are in your life? How do you feel about the relationships in your life? How do you feel about your own relationship with yourself? 

And if there’s anything in your life experience that is draining, that is sucking the energy out of you, there’s no judgment about this, this just might be an opportunity for you to look at what you’re tolerating and then ask yourself a simple question. 

Do I really have to keep putting up with this? If this is clearly not in my best interests, if it’s clearly not allowing me to be the best version of myself, then am I actually being of the most value to other people? 

There’s no right or wrong answer for this. This is a uniquely personal experience. But I will just invite you to consider the connection between having lower tolerances and higher standards. 

The moment you feel that something isn’t right for you, there’s no need to keep making sure that it’s not right for you. Once you know, you know. 

And man, when you have that level of clarity, when you have that inner knowing and you know that something is not right for you, or you know that something is right for you, once you know and then you know that you know, then it doesn’t matter if anybody else knows or not because you don’t require permission to live your life, you don’t require approval in order to follow that inner signal that’s inside of you. 

So there’s no glory in having a high tolerance for stuff that just doesn’t work for you. Suffering more isn’t gonna make it better. It’s only gonna get you more practiced at suffering. 

So maybe this particular mind vitamin, this particular message is just a reminder for you that there’s no reason for you to keep tolerating things that aren’t working. 

Raise your standard, lower your tolerance, and then just watch. Watch as your capacity to experience more joy, more fulfillment, to create a more meaningful experience of life now, not later. 

That capacity just expands, and the better it gets, the better it can get. Test it for yourself and see how it goes.