Rather than requiring
Others to change
For us to be happy.
What if we granted
The greatest freedom
Their own experience.
Our powerful attention
On the expansion
Of our own well-being.
Freedom, joy, fulfillment, happiness, satisfaction, peace of mind, these are all pretty universally desired experiences, right?
I mean, isn’t that what we’re all working for? Isn’t that why we educate ourselves and go to work? And isn’t that why we work on ourselves, so we can have more of these things?
Well, if these are so universally desired, if being fulfilled, if being actually content with your life while striving for more, if these are such universally desired qualities, why aren’t more people living this right now?
I mean, when was the last time you had a conversation with somebody and you said, “Hey, how’s it goin’?”, and they said, “Man, you know what, “things are amazing actually, “things are actually going really good”? When’s the last time this was a natural part of your experience?
And, if you listen for it, haven’t you found that people always have a reason why it’s not okay for them to feel that way, at least not yet?
Because something has to change first. After all, we all know, fill in the blank, the others, whoever they are, the others are really messing it up for us.
It’s the other people on the other side of the world, or it’s those people who believe something different than we believe.
If only they would change the way that they’re living, if they would change what they believe to believe like we believe, then, then I could be happy, then I could be fulfilled. then, I can finally have peace of mind when the whole world behaves the way that I think that it should behave.
Look, I’m not making fun of anybody here. I’ve been on the other side of this many, many times myself. In fact, there have been long periods of my own life where I thought, if only that situation was different, if only this other person thought something different, then I could be happy.
But I realized that the greatest freedom is actually allowing other people to have their own experience. The greatest freedom is simply allowing another person to think what they have decided to think.
Just allowing somebody to believe whatever they’ve decided to believe. If somebody wants to believe something different than you, don’t they have every bit as much right to believe that as you have to believe in what you want to believe in?
And doesn’t it just make sense that this beautiful world that we live in has so much variety, and there’s so much space, and there’s so much resource available that everybody can have what they choose to have? And those people whose beliefs resonate with each other, don’t they tend to match up with each other and find each other?
And so, if it serves you, and if it makes you feel really good to fight and push against someone else’s beliefs, so that they change, so that then the world is the way you want it to be, look, if that gives you joy and that brings you fulfillment, you’re free to do that.
I’ve just observed that it is far more powerful when a human being takes full responsibility for their own independence, starting with the mental freedom to pay attention to their own life, to put their energy into their life, to focus on their health, on their relationships, to put their energy and their time and their choices into their own work, into their own environment, your personal environment, your home, your wardrobe, your vehicle.
This is your life we’re talking about, so, if it makes more sense to try and change everything on the outside before you allow yourself to start making those choices that actually relate to you, then you’re free to do that, too.
I’ve just observed that the life of an individual changes fast when all of the energy that used to go into trying to change other people instead goes back to the individual.
This is the greatest freedom, allowing others to have their own experience, while allowing yourself to have your own experience. And the best part about this freedom is that there are no requirements.
You don’t need to ask anybody for permission. You don’t need anyone’s approval. It’s your life. Your life is your personal private property. How you share it is up to you.
But just consider what happens when you take all the energy that used to go into changing other people, and you begin to focus it on yourself, and you begin to focus it on living the life that you want to live.
This is the greatest freedom, the greatest form of independence you can experience, allowing others to have their own experience.