How to reinvent any relationship.
How many ways are there to describe a relationship?
And yes, I’m talking about the traditional labels that we always use. Let’s go through a few of them.
Wife, husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, spouse, partner, significant other. Any others come to mind?
I mean, these are labels that when somebody starts to ask you, “Oh, who is this?” And you say, “Oh, I’d like you to meet…” and you say their name, and then immediately we’re sort of conditioned and programmed to use this label, to use this word.
But here is one of the challenges that comes with these labels. Because everybody is using these labels, we all start to get a sense of what that means, and then these unconscious agreements start to get formed, and then you start to hear the dreaded language coming in of, “Well, you know what they say…”
Do you know what they say? And by the way, who are “they”? And what do “they” know about you and your relationship and exactly what it is that you want to experience and to create and to co-create with someone else that you’ve chosen to be in this close connection with?
So what if instead of trying to contain all of the energy, and all of the connection, and all of the communication, and all of the growth, and all of the sharing, and all of the adventures, and all of the creativity and spontaneity, and intimacy and love that’s possible between two human beings, what if instead of trying to contain all of that into a single word, what if we just left the words aside?
I’m not saying that the connection has to change, you can still be that of course. But what if we started to get a little more creative with how we described this union, how we described this connection with somebody that we’ve decided is so important in our lives.
I mean, imagine rolling up to a social event and introducing this person and saying, “Hi, I’d like you to meet my muse,” or, “Hello, have you met my lover?” or, “Hi, I’d like to introduce you to my soulmate. “I would like to introduce you to the wind beneath my wings.” “I’d like to introduce you to the most empowering being I’ve ever had the good fortune to share space and time with.”
Just imagine as their jaws hit the floor and maybe they try and seek a more conventional conversation.
Look, I’m all about being respectful, and there are certain traditions which are absolutely valuable. But when it comes to your life and the living of your life, what if you just approached your relationship the same way that you can actually approach every part of your life? With creativity, with ingenuity, with innovation, with reinvention.
What if the reason why relationships get stale is because we stop inventing them? What if instead, you decided to approach that relationship as a blank canvas every single day?
And every day you approach this person that you’ve chosen to connect with, you approach them as a brand-new person, instead of seeing them the way that you saw them yesterday.
What if you start to look for something new? Instead of trying to just know this person, what if you recognize that this person is always evolving?
They’re always creating themselves into something new. Is it possible to re-fall in love with the same person? I think it is. In fact, it’s inevitable.
If you’re always doing that for yourself, if you’re continually reinventing yourself, if there is more of you to bring to the relationship.
So just a few thoughts, instead of trying to cram these connections into these words that everybody thinks they understand, why not take a more creative approach?